User blog:KingOfKretaceous/Kaiju Reviews: Episode 6
=DISCLAIMER: If this is your kaiju, and you get offended by me saying bad stuff about it, I'm sorry. Just go on my message wall and scream at me, although I'll probably ignore you, because I most likely have better things to do.= =SECOND DISCLAIMER: This series heavily relies on my own likes and dislikes, so if you disagree with me, that's perfectly fine, because I might be a little biased while reviewing some kaiju.= =THIRD DISCLAIMER: Due to the nature of this review, this episode is fucking long.= Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Content Cop Kaiju Reviews. I've put off doing this for a while because it's literally a page full of shit, as in, the kaiju are shit. Not that they suck, just that they're made of actual feces. I've put this off for long enough, so let's just dive right into... ...the The Poop Squad. The Poop Squad First Impression "The Poop Squad is a group of Kaiju that are all made of Feces." it does what it needs to blah blah blah blah blah blah blah History So basically some turd with a santa hat rounded up a group of shit to fight some buwwies that buwwied him ;w;w;w;w;w;. Of course, they get their asses handed to them and are scattered across the multiverse, with the santa hat turd trying to reunite the group. Council Of Creators (series) The group itself has appeared in Episodes 4, 5 and 6 of Council of Creators, although the individual members have all appeared in different episodes. Members The members include santa hat turd (Mr Hankey), a demonic shit (Bob), some depressed feces (Heritage), FUCKING ABOMINATION JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT (Hidly Poop), and Mantis poop hybrid..? Trivia According to the trivia, the group started out as a joke between some users before becoming an actual group, and every kaiju in the group is an alternate of the original. Huh. That wasn't insufferable, actually. And I'm done, too! Well, as always, see y- wait what's that there's 5 more in different tabbers ffFFFFFFFUCK ok so according to my assistant there's actually 5 more of these literal shitstains on the page on separate tabbers???? help????????????? Mr. Hankey First Impression "Mr Hankey is the founder of the Poop Squad and was created by Cdrzillafanon." CDR I SWEAR TO FU- it gets across good things blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah b- The First Impression section explodes from an overload of blahs. Appearance "He looks like Mr. Hankey. That's all there is to explain." History So this thing was born from one of Santa T-Rex's turds. He had the Christmas spirit and tried to spread it across the world, but was rejected because he's actual shit. He grew resentful and wanted r- wait. "...and wanted revenge for his rejected." I don't even need to point out what's wrong here but whatever. He became depressed after being beaten by Hedorah and went off to round up some other poop kaiju. At this point it's the same history as the previous tabber, so I'm gonna stop. He's also appeared in the same episodes in COC. Abilities Mr. Hankey only has 3 abilities, those being Laser Eyes, Flight and of fucking course Poop Throw. of fucking course he does reeeeeeeee Conclusion The kaiju itself isn't complete shit, but it's definitely not original or important. In fact, it only exists to be the leader of the Poop Squad and is literally just Mr. Hankey. All of these considered, I'll give it a 3/10. Anyways, let's just move on... Bob Before we start, something interesting to note is that this kaiju was going to be the original review for Episode 3, when the pages were still separate. The First Impression section has been repaired by this point. First Impression "Bob is a kaiju created by MosuFan2004." d o e s w h a t i t d o e s I'll probably gloss over this section from now on, due to its complete uselessness, and just say who made the kaiju. Appearance Looks like some demonic shit. Literally. "Bob is a pile of poop with arms and devil's wings and tail." History Demon shit (Bob) and Satanana (Jack) were the OPest in the universe. I guess they went around and asserted their dominance by T-posing destroying solar systems? Satanana tells Demon shit that they're gonna destroy the solar system with Earth, and Demon shit goes "hey there's a lot of lifeforms there how about no", while Jack responds "who cares we gotta be dominant". I really don't understand why Bob is so hesitant about destroying Earth, but whatever. They have an epic fight and Demon shit tells him "if you wanna destroy stuff i'll stop yeh" and then flies away. Satanana tries to overcharge the Sun a few hours later to make it explode and Demon shit tries to stop him. Satanana kills Demon shit, who reforms and then throws Satanana into the Sun, saving the Earth from him. Demon shit turned from evil and started protecting the universe, and knows that Satanana will return. It's a good story, although Bob not wanting to destroy Earth because it has a lot of lifeforms feels like a plothole. Abilities Bob can fly with his wings, blast red energy from his hands, release a loud noise that sounds like his roar (ability is named earrape), and when he dies, he explodes into pieces and spreads himself in the area. The poop will slowly reform back into Bob, basically being a revive ability. Conclusion Personally, I think Bob is actually okay. Overall, he's not great but not bad. My only real problem is that his story has a plothole. The fact that he's made of poop, to me at least, doesn't really affect him that much, as in he's not based around the fact that he's literally a demonic pile of shit, although the fact that he is shit doesn't really help him out. I'll give him a 5/10, as he's not amazing but not terrible. Onto the next one. Heritage So this kaiju was made by Scoobydooman90001. How could you. Appearance Heritage is literally a pile of shit that drags itself around with a black arm. History Heritage started as a rumor that Godzilla 2 would include a new kaiju named Heritage along with Anguirus, Manda and Baragon. Some foolish fools believed the rumor and insulted those who knew it was false, and their combined stupidity created Heritage. Heritage was quite depressed and wanted to commit a suideath. Generikko appeared to battle it but couldn't bring himself to due to its extremely depressed state. It was put out of its misery when it was scooped up, put in a lot of bags and flushed down a lot of toilets. wow how funny he's depressed and wants to die and is a poopy xddddd Abilities Heritage can speak and uses this to talk about how depressed he is and wants to die. funnie he wanna die and depress and is fecal matter x d Conclusion I guess the joke is that he's a depressed pile of shit? The worst thing ever is when something is completely a single joke, except the joke isn't funny. That's where Heritage suffers. I have to give him a 1/10, because the idea of a depressed pile of shit isn't funny in the slightest. It can't possibly get worse, now can it? Can it???? Hidly Poop So bad news, it actually fucking can get worse in the form of Hidly Poop, which was also made by Scoobydooman90001. im gonna nuke his house if manpissed is made by him and is bad i swear to god Appearance Okay, so what do w- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA '' ''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA '' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH'' H O L Y S H I T WHAT DO I SAY HERE JUST LOOK AT IT I REFUSE TO SPEAK ABOUT THIS ON TO THE NEXT PART History So, in 2001 an actor named Chyler Leigh had irritable bowel syndrome. Eventually she recovered and moved on, although one of her turds survived somehow. His goal was to make the world less politically correct, growing in size and then going around and slinging shit like a fucking monkey and insulting every group of people possible. Generikko shows up to fight him but immediately leaves after realizing what the fuck he's actually fighting. Janet decides to be useful and defend her transgender rights by literally eating Hidly. This causes the world to become more politically correct. i hate this history and it is bad Abilities Hidly can run quickly and leap across great distances, spreading shit as he does this. He has a hole behind his legs that leaks shit. He can b- he can bend down, put his hands on his knees, and- oh my fucking god. Audible cringing if you wanna know go read the fucking page i'm not listing that shit here but i'll tell you it's called "Shit Beam". Conclusion 0/10. This kaiju sucks. Unfunny, and looks horrible. One of the low points of this wikia. Like King Kaiju, this is a fucking sin. It's so bad that even the creator regrets its existence. Sadly, it doesn't have the pleasure of me basically causing its creation. It does have the pleasure that I can't drop into the negatives though I swear to fuck thank god i'm fucking done Manpissed Okay, this can't possibly get worse, right? Oh it's made by SuperNerd295. Hopefully this is an improvement. Appearance Manpissed is supposed to be a mantis made of poop? It really doesn't look like a mantis to me. Maybe it's because it has a human skull for a head and shit for a body. History Manpissed used to be a normal mantis until, on a vacation with his wife and kid, was cursed by an evil wizard. Upon going home he realized that his body was shit and his head was a skull. His wife and kid returned home and attempted to flee until Manpissed stepped on them, killing them. He began growing and killing and eating people. By the end of his killing spree he had grown to about 2,359 feet tall. He shrunk upon going to North America to about 1,017 feet. He tracked down the wizard that put the curse on him and killed him, giving him that sweet, sweet karma. Powers Manpissed has super edge cutters, which can slice through flesh in seconds, blood made of poisons, and "Extreme totally not made to save his life from danger ""luck"" - It saves him from everything but he has to bleed more so it's always a very small gash." I only quoted that because I really don't know how to describe it. also knife Name Of course, Manpissed name is a combination of the words mantis and pissed, expressing him being a mantis and him being angry all the time. Conclusion Manpissed is definitely better than Hidly, who I think has broken me and removed my sense of humor. It's not exactly good, though, but not bad. I'll give it a 5/10 like Bob. Everything about it to me is just okay, and it gets some bonus points for not being Hidly. Ultimate Conclusion So, what do I think about the Poop Squad in total? It's really not that good. Most of the kaiju are pretty bad or mediocre. I'll give it a 2/10, as I said, most of the members are pretty shitty besides Manpissed and Bob. Well, I'm completely broken by that experience, but at least it's fucking over. Well, as always, see ya in the next review, where I'll hopefully get a good kaiju... Category:Blog posts Category:KingOfKretaceous' Kaiju Reviews